These two crazy kids are my parents taken about fifteen or so years ago. I get my idea of love from these two. They were married just about twenty years and they did have some fights and some rough times but you could never question that they loved each other. They would still be together but my dad died two years ago today. When it happened I didn’t tell anyone, most of my friends just found out one way or another and I just didn’t want to talk about it and you still won’t hear me talk about him all that much. It hurts. I’ve talked about it some just with one person but only small bits. It hurts. I can barely write about it. He was probably my favorite person, and best friend while still being a dad. We would read together every night until I was about ten. Every weekend we do something, go to movies or sit at Barnes & Noble, mini golf or just play different sports, from baseball, to football and tennis, just always be doing something. And all the memories are good and he raised me to be the way I am, along with my mom but a lot of it was him. I don’t think about those much anymore because they just make me realize how much I miss him and all the things he’s not going to be around for anymore, like graduations, wedding days (hopefully), and watching my own kids grow up. There’s no one else I can talk to that will fully relate to me or I would trust their advice as much. It’s made me outwardly colder to an extent too, nothing breaks me down anymore except thinking about him or listening to old voicemails. It’s why I don’t like the holidays anymore, just more reminders. There’s still so much more I want to ask about him, stuff you don’t even think about until you’re older. I was the last one to see him too and I can remember hugging him and saying I love you as always, not knowing it was gonna be the last time, except for when he’s back in my dreams. So if you’ve read this far I guess the point is remember your parents, and I hope you have a great relationship like the one I had, there’s no way you could match it, no offense meant, and not that it makes it any easier now, but I can’t imagine if I let him go without him knowing what he meant to me. If you haven’t noticed by now tumblr’s pretty much just an extension of my mind and that’s why I can write about it and for the few of you that’ll read this thanks. This is the most I think I’ve talked about it in two years.
thank you so much for sharing ! I understand how difficult it might be. I think you should let everythig out once in a while, the bad feelings, the sadness, its the healthies for you, and probably what he’d want for you. Anyways, if you dont really feel like doing that. I wanna let you know that today you made me reconsider how I treat my own parents. thank you again :)